Picking Up Myself.

Assalamualaikum and olla!

currently, 230 AM. 

A late night thought kicks in. Usually waktu-waktu macam ni aku akan mula berfikir. Bukannya maksud aku dari pagi sampai sekarang aku tak berfikir. It more to deep thought. There will be a random questions play in my mind. Eg, ayam keluar dulu or telur keluar dulu or, where do I see myself in 5 years? Yeah, either I fikir benda random yang bikin gue bingung or make me more nervous. Lolz.

Tonight, I just want to write appreciate post for myself and some positive thought for myself. 

Tbh, dulu when people said love yourself first I really don't understand. How actually you can love yourself? How can you actually fall in love with yourself? Don't we need people to love ourselves first before we felt the love? I keep wondering. But I keep chanting the phrase without me, myself understand the meaning behind love yourself. 

As I go thru some things, I slowly understand what is self love. As for me,taking care and make yourself the most top priority is self love. I'm not saying we shouldn't care people around us. How we want to take care our loves one if we don't love ourselves? If we keep broken up inside and still trying to patch some thing ups, how can we take care of other stuff?

 

Have a good and positive thinking is a self love. 

Have a good sleep is also self love.

Pampered yourself with good food is self love. 

Going therapist to heal yourself is self love. 

We take care of ourselves did all of that because we want to be better, to be the best version of ourselves. Because without we realized there is some part of ourselves we want ourselves to be better. Better than yesterday. We can cry but we also can get up and be ready for another battle. We are free to feel whatever we want to feel. Because, namanya hati dan perasaan bukannya batu. Aite?

And also we know ourselves better than anyone. Trust me. We always know when and which one is the better version of ourselves.

Never ever denied the feeling of yourself. 

When we give ourselves the love we need, we may be start picking up ourselves. 

How?

We might start to do what we used to love. eg, reading. 

or we might start take interest in new thing. 

As for myself, I used to be someone who can read book 24/7. Anywhere and anytime. But then I kinda lost myself and I slowly lost my interest. I kinda hate that feelings actually. Wondering what happen to my old self.  Trying to remember how I was so madly in love with books and reading. 

There is on phase I barely finish a page. I keep saying I can finish this later. And keep giving myself some stupid excuses. 

Now, I slowly pick up myself. The old me who loves to read so much. Hello Aina the bookworm. 

and I think there is few thing is big achievement for me as for now;

 

💓 Not afraid to give a talk or speech anymore. I miss doing public speaking and forum tbh. (This one use to be my biggest fear)

💓 Reading. I'm half way finishing a book now. (Will share with you guys later ehek)

💓 Going into fitness thingy. (used to be someone who hates workout and stuff, but now I think kinda addicted to it. Good addiction!)

💓 Learn make up! ( a coping mechanism during this MCO.)

💓 Taking care of my skincare routine seriously! (used to be someone who bare finish the sunscreen in a year, but now my sunscreen is slowly dried up. welp. :')

self note to myself ;

Uwa I really do a lot of gooood things noww. Sob sobs. Good job Aina. You really did well. I keep praying that Allah will give strength to keep istiqamah in this things. And may be better person in future Aina! 

In anyway, I believe you also can do it. Whatever you are going thru right now, the storm will be pass. Put trust in Allah, and ask Him to help us to give strength to whatever we are going thru. 

So if you ever come across or stumble to this post, I want you to think three thing you proud of yourself. Whatever it is. Anything thats make you proud. Even making bed every day in the morning is consider a proud things to do. So anything can be a reason for you to be proud and love yourself. 

and if you don't mind you can drop your thoughts on comment below 😉

adios!

spread love ♥ 

p/s : please ignore any grammatical error in this post. if you want to correct properly I dengan berbesar hati terima teguran, but on my email. hahahah sobs sobs.