late night thoughts

Assalamualaikum korang..

tengah otw nak tidur ke?  Aku sebenarnya perlu siapkan tutor sebenarnya.. tapi itulah. tak beberapa nak semangat 2-3 hari ni. Memandangkan adik-adik aku akan pulang ke asrama. Walaupun  diaorang tak pergi lagi. tapi aura kehilangan mereka kian terasa. Aku tahu bunyi macam mengada kan? Tapi tulah.. itulah yang aku rasa.

I don't know if you have this kind of thoughts and fear. Thought of one day your siblings will grow apart. To be honest, I'm really scared if that 'day' will come. I honestly don't want to loss them. I'm afraid of that because I've seen with my eyes. One day, they will marry someone. Have their own family. They will not be with me anymore.

I know, I kind of overthinking on this matter. I should pray something good will happen or none of this negative thoughts shouldn't overplay in my head. Tbh, I want to stop thinking.

I try to spend my time with them. But all they want to do, they want to watch drama all days. I'm trying to understand them.

They in their 'phase'.

A phase where they want to spent more times alone and be with friends. A phase where they want to grow up. I try to understand their high-school-phase.

I don't want they hate me when they grow up. Sometimes I feel like I want to give up. I don't want to be the eldest. I'm afraid because I'm trying so hard... I will make them left me. I really hate that. 😢

I just want to be a good sister.

I'm sorry for all this late night thoughts. I just need to say it all. OMG, my eyes will be 'sepet' tomorrow because I'm crying so hard right now. kadkljadkas. I got classsss yalls! 👀

goood night peeps!

spread love ♥